The5Fs
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The itch 19.1.19.
I dream about beautiful landscapes, which turn into black and white ugly, photographic images. Like my mind is filtered and makes me dream small video clips. In my dreams I hear female laughter, loud and clear, but it doesn’t sound real. It sounds programmed to fit a camera flash. When I turn around to see if I can find the woman, I see a perfect human being – pearly white teeth, long dark brown hair, chestnut brown colored eyes and a slim fit body. Suddenly her laugh becomes a bit darker. I feel a sensation of goose bumps covering my entire body. “Your mine now, I created you and you will pay for the way you use me,” she starts to speak and transforms into a slimy creature with long yellow sharp teeth and a body with no hands and feet. Something that slivers on the floor and before I know it, its crawling up my body and into my motor cortex. I have no control over what I’m seeing or doing anymore. I hear a scream as I try to find my way back out of this nightmare. As I manage to forcefully open my eyes, I lay in bed,  sweat dripping off my body. The bed is soaked, not just from sweat, but also from urine, and then I know that it’s not just a dream. I am infected.
 
People warned me, if I were to go on it too much that this would happen. I try to remember how much I’ve been on, but an exact length of time doesn’t pop into my head. This scares me, because before I know it my hand is already clutching it again. I’m scrolling through pages after pages, liking the hottest people and dissing the ugliest. The thing is that I’m not in control of doing this. My brain isn’t functioning, it’s already taken over. The worst part is that no one knows who has this disease and who doesn’t. I can’t warn anyone to not look. And once they looked and saw me as an individual, they would obtain it. That’s how it works.
 
The more time you spend on it, the worse the symptoms become. They might not be noticeable in the beginning, but like a tumor, they can’t stop from growing.
 
You catch it when looking at it when waking up and it continues to get worse throughout the day. Every day the symptoms become stronger. You’d be shaking if you don’t have it on  the entire time. The next step is posting pictures of food, knowing that you are not able to eat because you gain weight. Once you look too skinny, sleep is another criteria. Once you are at that stage, were you are not able to sleep because you see waves. You throw up often and get seizures. At the end it controls your brain and you can’t think straight anymore. That’s when it makes you do stupid challenges, inviting conspiracy and death .
 To b
e continued...
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Bounce 20.1.19.
I have no feelings, no thoughts or emotions. I’m taken away by the sky, floating in mid air. The wind is carrying me slightly as I try to stay up in the atmosphere. Gravitation is pulling me down and I start to fall. Viewing the clouds that drift by and the birds singing their lullaby. I am the universe. I see what others can’t, what others might view as terrifying because they are scared of the unknown. As I head towards gravity, I see desserts of lands, the smallest insects crawling in dirt. I see sparkles of spring water and wild sides of tides connecting to a big salty ocean. As I jump from place to place, decade to decade. I notice a race of a species. The race builds greediness. The race eats its own kind and thinks it is bigger than it actually is. As I start to view them more carefully I know they are observant and have a crucial survival instinct. I notice they are reflective and then I try to see what I am and what my lessons are. Either the ones I need to be taught or the ones I’m teaching.
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  • About:
  • Fashion
    • 1. Fashion outfits
    • 2. Mood boards
    • 3. What's your fashion style? >
      • Fashion designers
  • Fitness
    • 1. Homeworkouts
    • 2. inspiring youtubers
    • 3. Apps
    • 4. Motivation
    • 5. Meal planning
    • 6. Food grocery list
  • Food
    • 1. Cafe & Restaurant reviews & interviews
    • 3. Candy and junkfood
    • 4. Home made Recipes
    • 5. Whats the right diet for you? >
      • Diets
  • Favorites
    • 1. Travelling >
      • Dream destinations
      • Places I've been & review
    • 2. Art >
      • Inspiring artists
      • My art collection
    • 3. Writing >
      • Short stories
      • Book reviews
      • Quotes
  • Fun
    • 1. What's to know about Berlin >
      • Gallery openings
      • Berlin clubbing
      • Concerts
      • Parks
    • 2. Gaming >
      • Recommendations
    • 3. Music >
      • movies about musicians
      • Articles on music artists
      • Playlists for any mood